my guy pretty like a girl
and he got fight stories to tell

bebx:

strawberries | raspberries | currants | cherries

— by Virginia Granberry (1831-1921)

entraptasboobwindow:

criminalizegolf:

figtreepdf:

i wish the period blood came out all at once like a shotgun blast

powerboobs:

powerboobs:

authorized fucking creature. raise it to glory

thekidsfromyestergay:

gotalottalegs:

thekidsfromyestergay:

My girl an army general and I’m. Look I haven’t thought of a joke yet but if I had one it’d be hilarious ok just trust me on that one

My girl an army general and my privates are standing at attention

Yeah that’s the one time to hit the showers boys

universejunction:

iamvampiress:

the-last-teabender:

firefox-official:

firefox-official:

firefox-official:

playing spot the newcomer is easy because they’re the mfs who censor everything

“unalive” “k!ll” you can be free here. loosen up

i dont know how to break this to you but saying the word kill will not influence that

I’ve got another wild surprise for you about how Tumblr works.

I’m so glad to see @firefox-official can be trusted, thanks to those important blue internet checkmarks

adeptal:

Glue it back on

fullmoonfireball:

orteil42:

this website’s hate mail game is insane

memewhore:

snowriddenwolf:

tyrannosaurus-rex:

pyomorphic:

kawaiite-mage:

justthesource:

tilthat:

TIL in 1896 a temporary, one-day city was named in Texas called Crush, where two locomotives were to be smashed head-on for purposes of spectacle. It was, for a few hours, the 2nd largest city in TX with 40k attendees. The collision caused engine boilers to explode, resulting in death and injuries.

via reddit.com

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas

you could just do shit back then

texas is still like this

w0wls:

worthikids:

I’LL TAKE A HAMMER AND FIX THE BABY

pricklylegs:

severalowls:

Reminder that immediately post halloween is when there’s a ton of unsold stock everybody’s trying to unload and you can usually get bulk discounts on razor blades, weed gummies, and rainbow fentanyl

1-800-ugly-godess:

moonemojii:

*friends car is locked*

Friend: stop pulling the handle

Me:

The disorted version is a million times funnier than the original one… i’m wheezing